So today I went for my first actual dentist visit in more than 10 years. I knew I was going to cry and I knew it was going to be bad but, now I feel somewhat better and I feel like now I have hope to smile again someday without having to hide it.

It started around 1993 when I had oral surgery to remove a soft bone in the top right section of my jaw that was not only preventing my molars from coming down like they were supposed to but, it was making my molars grow upwards into my sinuses. After, I had the 5 hour surgery I then needed to get braces to not only shift my other teeth but, to pull the newly exposed teeth in line with the rest and to prevent them from growing upwards again.

Now, all of this had been covered by Medicaid because at the time we were desperately poor. Then when my mother chose to continue her education to get her Bachelors degree they cut us off totally except for my orthodontics. While I had the braces on I needed regular cleanings and such to prevent cavities around the braces and bands. Since I didn’t have that I obviously couldn’t get it fixed and this started my downward spiral into dental hell.

Soon after my braces came off I became pregnant and got Medicaid again and I could only have cleanings and emergency stuff done. After Kidlet was born I was cut off of insurance and BD didn’t have any health coverage. A few years later I had insurance again and went to the dentist because one of my molars was killing me. I ended up having to have a root canal done and that maxed out my yearly benefit without even covering a crown (which I never ended up getting because it was money that we didn’t have).

After, I had to leave that job I haven’t had dental coverage until now. So that has been almost 10 years with no dental insurance since my root canal and another 4 before that without being able to get a cleaning. Obviously one broken tooth and infection can lead to many more. So, I just had to live with the pain of cavities, abcesses, broken teeth due to the pressure of my wisdom teeth coming in etc. I even had a few teeth pulled at an emergency dental clinic due to abcesses but, even then they treated me like a drug addict and accused me of being a meth head because of the state of my teeth.

Last week I developed an abcess on the roof of my mouth due to an infection from 2 broken teeth. I finally made a dentist appointment and went to it today. Even though my abcess ruptured and went away I met with the dentist, had xrays and made a plan for all the work that HAS to be done and they are submitting it to my insurance company for approval and when I hear back from them we can proceed.

The plan is to pull all of my remaining molars and wisdom teeth as they are too broken to salvage. To pull the 4 teeth on the top up front that cracked then broke because of the pressure from my wisdom teeth (12 or 13 teeth total). Then root canals and crowns on all the 6 front teeth remaining to save them. Then partials for both upper and lower to replace all the missing teeth. But, the crazy thing is that all of my bottom teeth that aren’t molars have no cavities nor damage at ALL and are super firmly rooted so they just need a really good cleaning.

Honestly, I’m not surprised at all the work that needs to be done and all the teeth that need to come out. I am surprised and beyond happy that they are going to try and save all of my front teeth. I know that this road is going to be long, hard and painful but, I need it so bad and I just want to be pain free full of smiles and be able to eat normal like everyone else for the first time in a long time.